Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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