i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
