Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
