real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
