I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
