Christians are straight up FREAKS
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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