apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
