giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
