If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
