OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
