how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
