We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
