I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
