Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
