Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
last night I used snow as a chaser
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