yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
