you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
