ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
