Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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