I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
