dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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