he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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