You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
