you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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