Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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