I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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