I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
