Soap is not a condiment
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
