no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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