i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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