i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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