there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
