Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just pee around me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
