you would pick up someone in the library
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
