your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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