I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
