dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
