just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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