Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
