He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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