So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
