To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I could make wine with my vomit
Sober January is a disaster.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
