So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
