Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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