His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
