Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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