when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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