In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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