I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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