I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Say something about gay babies.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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