I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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