If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
