Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
