I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A+ Viking dick
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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