We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
