I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
