Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
