It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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