I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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