did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize
