why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
