Whatcha textin bout Willis?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
