Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
