she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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